kyoofu
by akeara4
Summary: Just dont read this, it sucks. I'm keeping this to laugh at my 13 year old self's writing.
1. meeting kyoofu

Kyoofu awakes with a huge yawn and looks beside her to see if anyone was there.

"Looks like Fang's not home." She pulls off her blanket to see that she had fallen asleep in her clothes last night. She grabs her backpack and leaves her home. It was a bad-looking day. The cloudy sky blocked out the sun from view; the fog didn't help much either. "Great, If I can't see, I'm bound to trip over every rock in the woods." She walks straight (tripping over some rocks,) until she feels the wind take a new direction (left.) Curious, she turns left, takes a few steps, and finds a portal.

"Guess I didn't see it because of the fog..." she says calmly, and walks away. Suddenly, the wind becomes stronger and pulls her closer. Kyoofu grabs onto a small tree near her. The wind had become aggressive.

"Fuck!" she screamed angrily. Kyoofu hears a crack from within the tree she had been holding onto. Before she could collect her thoughts and make all this make sense, she went flying in, arms flailing, curses streaming from her mouth.

She felt something hard slam against her head. Vision becoming a blur, Kyoofu closed her eyes and everything went dark.

…

"You okay?" A soft voice awakened Kyoofu from her sleep. Above her, a smiling girl with long, silky light brown hair stood looking downward at Kyoofu. "Do you have a place to stay?" The girl asked politely.

"yeah...where am I?" Kyoofu asked inquiringly.

"The leaf village." The girl said. Kyoofu, confused, asked again.

"Where?"

"The country of fire?" She said, undoubtedly questioning her intelligence.

"...Where?" Kyoofu asked again, hoping for an answer that would make the slightest of sense.

"You have no idea where you are, do you? Really?!"

"Duh, that would explain why I asked THREE times." Kyoofu responded.

"...Are you a ninja?" The girl asked. Was she mocking her?

"A _what?_" Kyoofu asked. The girl slammed her hand against her forehead.

_This girl doesn't know anything...maybe she lost her memory...or hit her head really, _really _hard..._ thought the girl. The girl looked back toward Kyoofu and noticed that she had gone. Her backpack had also disappeared, and the window was wide open.

_Wonder how she got away. _she thought sarcastically.

"Damn it!" she said aloud as she jumped out the window to find Kyoofu. It didn't take long at all for the girl to catch up to Kyoofu.

_Okay, she is _definitely _not a ninja, way too slow._

Kyoofu grew afraid. "Shit, she runs fast..." she said, mostly to herself. Kyoofu saw two large open doors before her and ran through, thinking that was the way to get away from this freak and her weird talk of ninjas. After running for a few more seconds, Kyoofu stopped.

"Why am I running?" Kyoofu wondered aloud. She began to think of a way to get home. The girl with the brown hair stood next to Kyoofu.

"...What the Hell!?" She asked Kyoofu angrily. Kyoofu paused,

"Who the _Hell _are you?" She asked.

"Akeara, what –" she was cut short.

"I met someone with that name before, but it was like, when I was five." Kyoofu said. Akeara took a better look at Kyoofu. She looked about 12 years old. Her thick, black hair was so long it reached her thighs. She had huge green eyes and her clothes were just _screaming_ 'goth.' She was wearing trips and a black tank top. She had fishnets covering her arms.

"Does your name happen to be Kyoofu?" Akeara asked.

"yup...why?" Akeara began to think...

_It can't be the same Kyoofu, can it?_ Akeara thought.

Kyoofu was talking in the background. "Um, _hel-lo_? Earth to Akeara?" Kyoofu's eyes widened. A grin stretched out across her face. She opened her arms and embraced Akeara. "I haven't seen you in _so_ long!"

Akeara suddenly seemed happier...and alive, and hugged her back. "Um, sorry to disappoint you, Kyoofu, but I don't think you'll ever be able to go back home." Kyoofu became confused and let her friend breathe.

"Why not?" Kyoofu asked.

"Because home is in a different _world?_ That a good enough excuse?" Akeara said. Kyoofu suddenly seemed happy about the idea.

"Awesome, let's go explore!" Kyoofu said. She grabbed Akeara's arm and pulled her into the woods.

"Don't you think it'd be a better idea for me to lead you, since you have no idea where you are? Besides, it's not the best idea to randomly waltz into the woods." Kyoofu completely ignored Akeara's warning and continued walking as if she had been a small child wandering alone in a candy shop.

…

"How long have we been walking?" Kyoofu asked, unknowingly adding to her 5-year-old act.

"Don't complain, you're the one who wanted to explore, so if your feet hurt, find your own ice and don't slow me down. Let's start heading back." Akeara said.

"Akeara, I think we're lost." Kyoofu said.

"Well obviously _you_ would think that, considering you would have no clue where you are regardless." Akeara said. Inside she was actually becoming worried, she didn't know where they were either. She wasn't about to tell Kyoofu that, she'd just made a smart remark.

"Let's ask for directions!" Kyoofu asked.

"Great idea, who should we ask, that squirrel?" Akeara said sarcastically. There was no one standing in her field of view.

Kyoofu shook her head in a manner which implied that Akeara was a moron. She pointed right and said, "In case you haven't noticed, there's about eight people over there."

"Um, don't you have sarcasm in your world? First of all, you don't ask for directions here, too many enemies wandering around out here." Akeara said, trying to regain her pride and keep her blush down.

By this point, Kyoofu had already made her way half way toward the group of people, completely ignoring Akeara once again...she wasn't the brightest light bulb in the bunch. Sharp as a bowling ball, that one.

It only took a few seconds for someone to catch Kyoofu's obsessive eyes. He had long, beautiful blonde hair and was wearing an Akatsuki robe.

"Kyoofu STOP!" Akeara said. She obviously knew that the Akatsuki were nothing but trouble.

Too late, Kyoofu stopped dead in front of the blond...guy?

"Do you know where the leaf is?" Kyoofu asked, not knowing what to say, and whether she should treat this person as a gentleman or a young lady.

"Kyoofu shut the FUCK up before we BOTH get killed!" Akeara said. She was pissed, and what's more,she was getting annoyed that Kyoofu was ignoring ALL her warnings. She was going to end up dead, and Akeara would laugh.

_I told ya so._ She thought, while the image danced through her head.

Kyoofu had a huge, wide grin on her face. She sat next to the blondie...she needed to find out what it was. "Do you know where the leaf is?" she repeated. The person wasn't smiling, and looked murderous. What was it?

"No." A deep voice answered...definitely a dude...What was wrong with him, did he not know any barbers or something?

"Okay, do you know how to get to a place by which I might be able to _find_ the leaf?" She smiled, she felt smart. The..._man_?...was obviously not amused. He obviously didn't understand her triumph.

"No, leave me alone, hm."

"Well you're a meanie."

"yeah, and you're annoying, hm."

_And I'm going to get killed because of this moron. _Akeara thought.

"I am _not!_" Kyoofu said. Maybe she really was only five years old...

Akeara grabbed Kyoofu's arm and pulled her away while whispering angrily, "Let's get out of here before we _can't._"

"You're rude, ya know!" Kyoofu said while being dragged. She was really staring to convince Akeara that she had the ability to actually _lose _years.

"Are you trying to insult me, 'cause if you are, you're doing a really bad job, hm." The man said.

By now, Akeara had pulled Kyoofu a safe enough distance away where they could barely hear each other's dangerous words. "I will have my revenge!!!!!!!!!!!! What's your name, peasant!?" She asked, she must have been an idiot, because that was NOT a smart thing to say to the man. By this point, they were so far away all she could hear was "Dara, bitch! Blah, blah, blah, try!" After "Dara" was out of sight, Akeara scolded Kyoofu.

"what the HELL is wrong with you? Don't talk to people with those clothes on, just turn around and walk away. God, I thought you were going to get us both killed, you really are something."

"THAT'S RUDE!" Kyoofu said.

"Since when are YOU polite? You called an Akatsuki member a PEASANT!"

"The what?" Kyoofu said. Akeara was slowly becoming more mad...trying to cool herself off, she thought _well at least she's listening to me_. This didn't help, it made things worse.


	2. meeting deidara

Chapter 2  
Akeara and Kyoofu had been wandering around aimlessly for some time now, and Kyoofu was becoming restless. She sat down and began to pout.  
Gosh, she's looking more and more like a five year old as the day wears on... Akeara thought.  
"I'm tired!" Kyoofu complained. "How long have we been walking? Where are we even going? Why couldn't we just stay with the blondie and his friends? You're so MEAN!"  
Now it was Akeara's turn to let off some steam, Kyoofu was seriously starting to piss her off. "SHUT UP!!!!!!" She exclaimed. She'd just about had enough of Kyoofu's constant complaints.  
Kyoofu stuck out her bottom lip. Amazing. Akeara thought, she ACTUALLY has the ability to kill off insane amounts of maturity in a matter of hours. Unique, this one.  
Kyoofu stared up into Akeara's face. The pout had become a murderous glare. "No." She responded. For a moment there Akeara had actually thought that Kyoofu might be living up to her age. She couldn't let Kyoofu think she could be in charge.  
"Jump off a cliff, Kyoofu." She couldn't let Kyoofu defy her that way.  
"No." She responded.  
"Go buy a gun and shoot yourself!"  
"No." Akeara was getting annoyed, this was never going to end was it? Still, she had to continue.  
"Ugh! Just DIE will ya?" Akeara exclaimed, she was seriously annoyed now.  
"Of old age? No problem." Kyoofu's smirk was so huge Akeara had to muster up all the self-control she had to refrain from smacking her in the head.  
"I don't get why we had to leave Dara and his friends, I'll betcha ONE of them at least knew where the leaf was. The Akatsuki, I think you called them? Why don't you like them? Why are they so bad?" Kyoofu asked inquiringly.  
Akeara rolled her eyes, how could she explain the Akatsuki to this...child?  
"The Akatsuki are nothing more than a group of crazed mass murderers, and we stay away from mass murderers, okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Kyoofu sounded as if she hadn't heard a word Akeara said. Who asks a question and ignores the answer? Akeara was annoyed, but also worried about her friend.  
"Swear you'll stay away, Kyoofu, they're dangerous, you'll get hurt, I'm having trouble refraining from killing you, but these guys...they're PROS at killing, they'd murder you. Did you SEE blondie's face when you were talking to him? And that was only maybe five minutes. Swear you'll stay away." Akeara sincerely doubted that Kyoofu was listening, but it was definitely worth a try.  
Kyoofu remained completely silenced, staring into space.  
"Swear you'll stay away." Akeara repeated.  
"Stay away from who?" Kyoofu asked. Just as Akeara had expected, she hadn't heard a word she'd just said.  
"THE AKATSUKI!!" Akeara screamed. Kyoofu was SUCH an idiot.  
"Oh, them? Fine, no problem, I'll stay away." Kyoofu's smirk had returned.  
"What?" Akeara asked.  
"I never keep my swears." Kyoofu stated, the grin widening.  
Wonderful. Akeara thought sarcastically. She closed her eyes in frustration and began to concentrate. When she opened her eyes, Kyoofu was gone.

…  
"Where am I?" Kyoofu asked herself while wandering randomly through the woods. She could sense someone following behind her. Akeara... She thought. Kyoofu prepared herself to be scolded. She began looking around for something to distract herself with while Akeara was yelling.  
"Well?" She asked, waiting for her answer.  
"Well what?" Either Akeara had an immense amount of flem, or the person standing behind her wasn't Akeara. Kyoofu turned to face her unexpected stalker.  
"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE THAT GUY!" Kyoofu exclaimed, recognizing the extremely feminine blond man.  
Dara just glared at her. "That guy?"  
"Yes, THAT GUY!" Kyoofu screamed, she was ecstatic at her memory length.  
"I have a name, hm." He said. Well obviously, Kyoofu already knew that, she got his name when she swore her revenge.  
"I already know that, Dara, you told me your name when I swore my revenge on you, don't you remember, peasant?" She said. She thought about that time, remembering more. "And then you said some other stuff I wasn't paying attention to..." Kyoofu stood reciting the moment to Dara while staring up at the sky, reliving their first encounter.  
"Who the fuck is Dara? Peasant? You don't plan on dying of old age, do you?" He said. The look on his face wasn't inviting. If I was little red riding hood, and this guy was my granny, he'd be STARVING, no way I'd go into his house with THAT look on his face... Kyoofu thought.  
"And anyway, I shouldn't even be talking to you, according to Akeara you're a mass murderer and I should avoid mass murderers." Kyoofu thought over what she'd just said...since WHEN did she ACTUALLY pay attention to what Akeara said?  
"This Akeara girl's got brains." He stated.  
"Dude, I don;t actually listen to her, I have no clue how that statement got into my head."  
"Dude? Do you listen to ANYONE? I told you, I HAVE a name, hm." He seemed to be getting annoyed...and He said 'hm' a lot...  
"Mass murderers have names?"  
"Yes."  
"...Well you seem to be having some identity issues, cause I could almost SWEAR You said your name was Dara." Kyoofu said. "Until you work out those issues, is it okay if I call you Blondie?"  
"No."  
"Well what CAN I call you?" Kyoofu was practically begging to die.  
"Deidara, D-E-I-D-A-R-A, DEIDARA, got it now, hm?" He was so rude, he treated Kyoofu like she was some sort of idiot.  
"Nice name, I'm Kyoofu" She said. Deidara was staring at her strangely. "What?" Kyoofu asked.  
"You look familiar..." He stated. Kyoofu was starting to think that HE was the idiot here.  
"Well DUHH, we just met like, an hour ago. I have a longer memory than you."  
"No, I mean I've seen you before that, hm"  
"I really hope you don't cause I don't wanna meet mass murderers more than once, I'm not the luckiest of people." Kyoofu said, wondering just how stupid this guy was, a natural blond, alright.  
"I mean, it's really not possible, I've never seen you before." Kyoofu corrected herself.  
"Nevermind..." Deidara said.  
"Hey, can you help me find Akeara?" Kyoofu asked, she was beginning to wonder where her friend had gone.  
"Who is she?" Deidara responded.  
"The girl I was with before while I was annoying you about the leaf and swearing my revenge and calling you a peasant and thinking your name was Dara."  
"Oh."  
"Well can you help me find her?"  
"No."  
"Why not?" Kyoofu was returning to her immature five-year-old self.  
"Because I'm a mass murderer, and you should stay away from mass murderers." Deidara was the one smirking now  
"No it's okay I never listen to her anyway, she's not important and she'll thank me for not listening to her when we find her in a cave starving and about to be eaten by a bear when your super mass murderer skills save her life. Yup, she'll thank me." Kyoofu imagined the scene, her smile widening and her imagination running waaay too wild.  
Deidara stared at Kyoofu with a puzzled look on his face. She wished she could hear what he was thinking.  
What is wrong with this child? They shook her when she was a baby, didn't they...She must've been raised by trolls... Deidara thought.  
"I'm not helping you, goodbye, Kyoofu." Deidara began walking away. Kyoofu turned to face his back.  
"Butt faced mass murderer."  
Deidara stopped.  
"Never mind, I'll help."  
"That's all I had to do to get you to help?"  
"Found her, hm." He said, pointing dead in front of himself.


	3. don't call me short

"You're right you can't keep a swear for your life." Akeara scolded

"It's his fault." Kyoofu wined, pointing at Deidara.

"How is it my fault that you can't keep a swear, hm?" Deidara inquired. He sounded annoyed.

"Because you spoke to me." Kyoofu stated_._

_Dammit, why are mass murderers so EVIL? If he would have simply ignored me, I wouldn't be in any trouble. Jerk. _Kyoofu thought.

"If you responded it's your fault, not his." Akeara said...well, screamed, actually, she sounded extremely pissed off.

"But...but...HE SPOKE FIRST!" Kyoofu screamed. Apparently, it was extremely unfair for Kyoofu to lose a childish skirmish against a mass murderer. The only way to make this fight fair was to piss off the mass murderer while you stand stupidly without a hope or weapon or prayer from whatever god lies above to help you win.

"You truly are the dumbest being on this good green Earth, aren't you, hm?" Deidara asked, not a hint of sarcasm or joking-ness in his voice. "You spoke to me. I believe you thought I was...her." He said, pointing at Akeara.

"NOT TRUE!" Kyoofu said. "YOU WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID I WAS...STUPID!" Kyoofu screamed. She was a horrible liar.

"Sadly, I've never said that, though the thought has crossed my mind MULTIPLE times. Actually, you said 'well', and I inquired what you mean by that statement." Deidara stated.

_He's good..._Kyoofu thought.

"So what" She said.

"Then it's your fault" Deidara responded.

"Okay, blond guy's right, you're an idiot, let's go." Akeara said. Kyoofu couldn't help but feel that she was being looked down upon.

"His name's Deidara" Kyoofu proclaimed.

"Mass murderers have names?" Akeara asked, shocked.

"Yes"

"Any way, we gotta go Kyoofu..._now_" Akeara said, sounding vicious.

"Fine." Kyoofu followed Akeara, who was walking away from the scene.

…

"This time you'll swear and not break your swear" Akeara pleaded.

"Okay I swear and ill try my best not to break it this time" Kyoofu said, confusing herself a little.

"Do you swear not to break the swear?" Akeara stated.

"Yes! Okay, yes I swear" Kyoofu wondered again why Akeara feared the Akatsuki so much. Could they really be mass murderers? Deidara certainly seemed capable, but he hadn't killed her yet.

_Maybe I _should_ stay away from them. I mean, I don't know that they are mass murderers, but I_ do_ know that I just got to this crazy mixed up world, and Akeara knows more than I do right now. Deidara never once mentioned not being a mass murderer, though we've mentioned it before to him..._an epiphany hit Kyoofu like a big yellow bus. _Akeara wasn't just trying to scare me or take away my fun. She really is afraid of the Akatsuki. Maybe I should listen to her, just this once. Alright, I swear to myself, and to Akeara, that I won't talk to them...even if that blond guy talks first..._

"Kyoofu? Hello?" Akeara interrupted Kyoofu's brief moment of intellegence.

"Sorry, what?" Kyoofu asked.

"I swear you never listen!" Akeara was annoyed now.

"I always listen, what's wrong with you?" Kyoofu said. In fact, she'd just decided now to listen to her, it was part of her epiphany.

"GAHH! Stop with the sarcasm, I'm trying to be serious and you're ignoring me as usual. Ou know what, you're going to get yourself killed. I'll do you the favor right now and make it quick. The Akatsuki won't be that nice."

"Pfft, you can't kill me" was Kyoofu's only response.

"Trust me I could kill you in a second" Akeara snorted at the thought.

"What makes you think that?" Kyoofu had stopped in her tracks.

"Because your stupid and short and-" Akeara was on a roll today, wasn't she?

"I am not short." Kyoofu responded briefly.

"Please you're nothing but short, how old are you 12?" Akeara joked.

"21, hello are you blind?" Kyoofu said. She couldn't believe Akeara actually thought she was that young.

"Nope. You're just _that_ short." Akeara stated.

"I'm not short."

"Yes, yes you are."

"That's it call me short one more time, just one more." Kyoofu wasn't playing anymore. Her eyes had gone cold and her body tensed, She was pissed.

"Short." Akeara smirked.

"That's it your dead!" Kyoofu screamed

"Like you could kill me." Akeara smiled.

And thus, the battle began.

…


End file.
